1. Two blondes walk into a building..........you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.2. Phone answering machine message..........If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...
3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts".
4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, No, the steaks are too high.
6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
7. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!". The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off".
8. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle.
9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank. Proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.
10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
11. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it".
1 comment:
Your blog gets better and better, Colin.
Here's MY favourite Tommy Cooper...
It's late at night and a man walks up to the door of a hotel.
It's locked, so he knocks on the door.
Rat tat. Rat a tat. Rater a tat tat.
Erumph.
Rat, a tat, tat.
Just like that.
A window flys open on the first floor and a woman says:
'What do you want?'
The man at the door says:
'I want to stay here'.
Woman at the window says.....
wait for it......
'so stay there then...
Ah me, still makes me laugh....
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