Post Operative Media

By Disgruntled of Martock

The pictures show my surgeon tools now safely back in their stowages after another successful outing.

It is now a suitable time to expand on one of the spin offs from my recent operation. By necessity of the situation, I have had a surfeit of listening to the radio and watching TV, especially at strange times of day and night. Here are some of my thoughts and observations on my mindless media studies:

• Some TV is very relaxing as background noise and a definite help to bring sleep on. Snooker was quite relaxing as it was totally undemanding and the story line could be picked up when one felt conscious enough to care. Darts was also quite good except for the sudden disturbance when someone would shout 180!’
• On the whole the terrestrial channels were extremely limited and the Day Time TV was of pretty gormless standard, and also overlapped in so many areas such as Property Improvement programmes and also derivatives of the Antique Road show focused on junk in sale rooms. The number of crass quiz shows is just an embarrassment.
• Quite the worst programme I experienced were the four hour long premium line phone in ‘Cash Prize’ programmes screened between 0100 and 0500. Clever, I admit, as many screwy people are obviously addicted to them and spend considerable money in this disguised form of gambling. Who on earth are the gullible fools who watch them? Is it mothers doing the midnight feed or night security staff?
• In fact there is one programme worse. That is Celebrity Big Brother where at night you get black and white film of the so called ‘celebrities’ asleep. Why anyone should want to see anything so boring is beyond me and it certainly did nothing for either my blood pressure or my attempt to get to sleep. To be positive, at least they weren’t opening their mouths during this time.
• The radio is the winner. Yes, I am a radio 4 listener and even during the small hours when it is switched over to the World Service, this is a great programme to listen to or doze off to. I can, however, never forgive the BBC for taking the Radio 4 Theme Medley off the air at 0525 every morning. What pathetic and totally unconvincing arguments they gave to support this outrageous and ill informed decision. Turkeys!
• I was given a Digital radio for Christmas and I can not speak highly enough of it. I think many of the actual designs are pretty awful but the quality of the sound is just such an advance I thoroughly recommend these sets – what possible reason is there for having second best?
• Maybe I am in the minority, but although we have Freeview, we do not have Sky. The main result is that the amount of decent sports programmes is severely limited. South Africa, Australia, New Zealand and so forth, all have excellent terrestrial sports channels. Make no mistake, in contrast we are definitely the poor relations and held to ransom by Sky. Sad times.

Pete's Sport Bar

This was given to me in September 1999 by none less than Pete himself in his famous Sports Bar in Hotra in the island of Fayal, Azores. Pete’s bar is a sailors’ legend and a mandatory stop for all visiting yachtsman. Pete opened a second, and much bigger, bar in Lisbon but this is the original one. There is a tradition of leaving some bits of boat memorabilia in the bar. The head of Aerial’s spinnaker was donated in 1997 and was still there two years later.

Clipper 96 and Clipper 98 both visited Horta after sailing from Brazil as it was in a direct line to the finish in Plymouth. This logic was slightly flawed as was almost impossible to estimate the week, let alone the day of arrival in Plymouth as the whole area is ruled by the large Azores High Pressure system (I think there’s a clue in the name there). This meant that after leaving the Horta boats could wallow for a week or more and make barely 100 miles. This was not good when loving families are on the breakwater forlornly looking out to sea day after day. Deciding a date for the final Prize giving and crew party was an even harder decision which was quickly passed up the ladder to the most senior management level.

I remember once as the boats left Cape Town one family demanded to know exactly what time the boats would enter Plymouth Breakwater. I fear we must have been a disappointment to them.

Via Air Mail

Today’s bit of memorabilia is a real collector’s item. It is a piece of a shell from the German battle cruiser Scharnhorst that found its way into my father-in-law’s cabin in HMS Norfolk on 26 December 1944 (then, Lt Micahel Pollock RN). As he was HMS Norfolk’s Gunnery officer he was busy on the bridge firing shells into Scharnhorst at the time and therefore (and very luckily), not in his cabin!

The action took place at about 75’N 28’E, off North Cape. Scharnhorst’s 5 destroyer escorts had returned to Norway due to the atrocious weather leaving her to be encircled by a force consisting of the Battleship Duke of York, the cruisers HMS Norfolk, HMS Belfast, HMS Sheffield and HMS Jamaica, plus 8 destroyers.

A short but vivid account of the sinking of the Scharnhorst can be found at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_North_Cape

The Batle Cruiser Scharnhorst

Guest Writer - Simon Rowell

Distinguished Guests

One meets many distinguished visitors on boats, but these two must be right up there:

King Neptune

The god of the sea, who wreaks punishment on the guilty as they cross the Equator for the first time (and quite often for the second, too). He is traditionally helped by his lieutenants, who investigate the charges and bring the guilty for trial. The court system is scrupulously fair, and so far has a 100% success rate.

Neptune is also to be thanked at important moments at sea, for example the moment of crossing the Equator, or when crossing the International Date Line. This is done by giving something of value back to him – a tot of rum, a ginger biscuit, or some such thing. This is done almost religiously by anyone who goes to sea for any length of time – not that sailors are superstitious, you understand.

The picture above shows Neptune (centre) and his 2 lieutenants on the way from Salvador to New York in 2003. They bear an uncanny resemblance to a rather camp Stoker Baird (now lockkeeper at Birdham Pool), Simon Rowell (general layabout) and Frankie Evearart (the Belgian army).

Father Christmas

Not usually associated with the sea, he is however diligent in his duties. This shot shows him arriving to deliver presents to the crew of Gypsy Moth IV in Thailand this Christmas just gone. Father Christmas (frighteningly close in appearance to Tim Magee, skipper of Liverpool 08 in the Clipper 05-06 race, and last Christmas skippering Gipsy Moth IV) is in full tropical rig, and has resorted to 5 o’clock shadow rather than the full beard – more hygienic in the tropics, apparently. As always, Santa’s little helpers were very welcome!

As with all mystical figures, the proper respect must be shown – Gypsy Moth IV had been dressed overall with the correct flags, which is why Father Christmas decided to visit.

Two Dominiques, one major difference

Meeting people is one of the joys of the Clipper race and here we have two very special people.

Dominique Low (Singapore Dominique) became an integral part of the Race in April 2003 when the race was diverted from the schedules visit to Singapore because of the SARs threat. With only five days notice she was one of the main people bringing all the stands together so the Fleet could enjoy a highly successful and fun visit to Nongsa Point Marina in the Indonesia island of Batam, some 8 miles south of Singapore.

Dom, as she is affectionately called, then became ‘Clipper’s man* in Singapore’ for Clipper 05-06 when she was involved in managing all aspects of Uniquely Singapore Clipper.
* Except of course she is a girl.

I am delighted to announce that Singapore Dom is back with us for Clipper 07-08 and is, once again, our main representative in Singapore.

One of her many claims to fame is that she has done some modelling for Dove. It is not often you can say someone looks like any part of a bus but in Dom’s case you can as one of the Dove promotional busses in Singapore has her portrait all over it. Check out the following website and you will not be disappointed (unless you want to see a bus); http://www.imailglobal.com/client-edm/Dove2/Dove2_edm.html

Dominique Le Bras (Salvador Dominique) became an integral part of the Clipper Race in July 1999 when the race visited Salvador for the second time. He was the Point of Contact for all visitors at CENAB which is the regatta centre in the centre of the City.

Dom, as he is affectionately called, became a great supporter of the Clipper race and a good friend. He is French and came to Brazil nearly twenty years ago for a six month stint with Club Med. Like many people that end up in Brazil, the attractions of the Brazilian ladies was an irresistible factor.

He is one of the few people that can call Sir Robin Le Rosbif and get away with it, but that is only because he is a charming Frenchman. His involvement in the sailing scene in Salvador was entirely logical as three or four French ocean races end in the city, including the Mini Transat and the Jacques Varbe. While at CENAB he worked closely with the famous Dayse. Although both have now moved on but we all remain in close touch; such is the nature of good friends.

T-Shirt - USS GROWLER

This sweat shirt was a present to me when the Clipper fleet visited New York in August 2003 and we were based at the Intrepid Sea, Air and Space Museum on Westside, Manhattan. The USS Intrepid is an old war time aircraft carrier which has been converted into a museum with a wide variety of aircraft on its flight deck. In addition the destroyer USS EDSON (where we had our offices) and the submarine USS GROWLER were also on display.

Just before last Christmas, all three ships were moved 6 miles down stream to Bayonne, New Jersey where they are being refitted while Pier 86, their home, is rebuilt. The whole show will reopen in the fall of 2008.

The USS Growler was constructed in 1958 and was on active duty for only six years. Growler carried and launched the 56 foot long Regulus missile, which looked more like an unmanned jet. After decommissioning, she was placed in the Inactive Reserve Fleet and Navy decided to use her as a torpedo test target for nuclear attack submarines. Fortunately, these tests were never conducted and Growler was assigned to become part of the Intrepid Museum
http://www.intrepidmuseum.org/pages/growler

TOMMY COOPER - COMIC GENIUS

1. Two blondes walk into a building..........you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.
2. Phone answering machine message..........If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...
3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts".
4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, No, the steaks are too high.
6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
7. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!". The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off".
8. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle.
9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank. Proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.
10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
11. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it".

Craig gets knotted

Forget all the broken hearts around the world! Against all odds Craig Millar, the immensely popular South African Skipper of the most colourful of all the Clipper yachts in the Clipper 05-06 Race (namely Durban Clipper) made it to his wedding as scheduled in Cape St Francis, near Port Elizabeth. His beautiful bride
Taryn, looking like 7.12 Million Rand stole the show.

Amongst the crowd were a strong deputation from Point Yacht Club A Team, including Aubrey Brooks, Terry Flynn, Michael and Squeaky. None of these have yet come round to a state where they are able to give an eye witness account of the wedding.

From all your many friends in Clipper, all the very best for the future to Craig and Taryn.

For information, Craig Millar now works for Quantum sails in South Africa. He has won the contract for all the new Clipper sails for the next race. Anyone wanting to get sail quotes from him should contact him at cmillar@quantumsails.co.za Make sure you also quote Colin’s Place!

What the Butler saw .....

Richard Butler (known affectionately to all as BINKS) was the skipper of Bristol Clipper in Clipper 2002. Understandably he has been desperate to get his picture in Colin’s Place since the blog started. He finally got his chance when last Friday I mentioned that Dayse had visited Liverpool for the finish in 2001. He passed this test with flying colours and immediately spotted my deliberate mistake. He came straight back to correct me with this photo of him, Dayse and Cllr Ron Gould, the (then) Lord Mayor of Liverpool. As can be seen by the backcloth this was at the race finish in 2003.

Congratulations to Binks on spotting this. As a result Dayse now has more photos on the web than anyone else!

The Wreck of the Batavia

The picture shows Philippe Godard’s lovely book on the First and Last Voyage of the Batavia. This generous present was given to me in Fremantle by Hugh Plaistowe when I was visiting to make arrangements for the visit by Clipper 05-06.

There is an extremely interesting display of part of the wreck of the Batavia in the Shipwreck Galleries in Fremantle. Now that it has been announced that Clipper 07-08 will also be visiting Fremantle Clipper crews and families can start planning their Christmas there – and start reading about the Batavia! See: http://www.museum.wa.gov.au/maritime/swg.asp

The Story of the Batavia*

During the 17th century, the easiest way for ships to get to Batavia in the Dutch East Indies (Java), now Jakarta in Indonesia, was to head due east from the Cape of Good hope and then up the Western Australian coast. The numerous offshore reefs and island groups made this a risky business and the whole area is littered with wrecks, including the Batavia.

On 4th June 1629 the Batavia, a ship of the Dutch East India Company, ran aground on the inhospitable Houtman Abrolhos islands some 300 mile north of Fremantle, Western Australia. The ship’s commander took most of the officers and passengers to the mainland to search for water, leaving 268 people behind, including a sizeable number of soldiers.

An undermerchant named Jeronimus Cornelisz, who had agitated against the commander during the voyage, saw his chance to act. Tricking the soldiers into relinquishing their arms, he banished them to a nearby island and instituted a reign of terror which resulted in the death of 125 men, women and children before the Captain returned 3 months later, having been forced to travel all the way to Batavia for help. Cornelisz was summarily executed and some of his mutinous men were dumped at Wittecarra Gully, just south of modern-day Kalbarri, making them the first white men on mainland Australia.

* Source: The Lonely Planet – Western Australia

Google Earth and MORE!

Viewing aerial photographs on the internet has become very popular thanks to Google Earth. This amazing programme has been developed in lots of different ways and if you haven’t downloaded the free programme at http://earth.google.com then I thoroughly recommend that you do.

For those involved in any aspect of the Clipper Race this is an ideal way to study the various ports and marinas. When the details of the race route are announced I will make sure information is available so that people can study the various marinas. If you have downloaded Google Earth use the search ‘Fly to’ tool and enter the following position: 29 51’46.56”S 31 01’17.24”E If you have entered this correctly it should take you to the Point Yacht Club in Durban near where the yachts will be berthed. (For interest this is one of my favourite clubs as they have made me an Honorary member!)

There are several other similar programmes to Google Earth. This is important as one of the restrictions you will find is that the aerial photographs tend to be fairly old. If you go to http://www.flashearth.com you will find you get to a site that combines several of these programmes. Rather like comparing lap tops or car insurance, you can click from one programme to another. The collage above shows three different images of the dome. Note that they are all historic, all taken on different dates and also at different times of the day (look at the shadows on the Dome’s towers).

Another good example is Gunwharf Quays in Portsmouth Harbours which Microsoft VE shows as a building site whereas Google Earth shows it built and operating. Go across the harbour to the Clipper Offices at Royal Clarence yard and none of the programmes show the marina.

If anyone would like to forward more useful tips on this subject, or other clever web sites, I would love to post them up.

People - Dayse Vieira

I first met Dayse when, as skipper of Chrysolite, we arrived in Salvador, Bahia, in June 1997 in the first Clipper race. Dayse was the ‘Official Welcomer’ and her duties consisted of greeting all sailors with a great big unforgettable kiss. Her team of helpers would produce fresh fruit and Caipirinhas and Dayse would tie the welcoming coloured ribbon on everyone’s wrist. The ribbon was tied with three knots, each one signifying a wish – a slightly dangerous routine in Brazil. Some of the ribbons stayed on for over a year.

Her hallmark was the endless supply of traditional Bahia dresses, each worn with 28 petticoats. As a result Dayse took up quite a lot of space. The day then came when this thin lovely lady came up and smiled at me. I did a bad job at disguising the fact that I had never met her until ………..‘Colleeen, Colleeen, it’s me! It’s me, Dayse! I’ll not really large.’ I never made that mistake again.

Apart from welcoming many of the Clipper races to Brazil Dayse did a surprise visit to meet Clipper 98 on its return to Plymouth and also visited Liverpool in 2001. It has been a great delight to have got to know Dayse so well and we still keep in touch with her regular and very distinctive emails. She now lives in Germany although is visiting Salvador at present.

The left hand picture shows Dayse with me and my daughter Sarah and son Ric in Salvador in 1997.

T-shirts - Uniquely Singapore

This week-end various top models will be coming to a secret location in Somerset to model my selection of T-shirts. Every T-shirt tells a story but it is so much more interesting when they are correctly and interestingly displayed.

Until this new material is ready, here is a great shot of Sharon Chong, one of Uniquely Singapore’s crew members in the Clipper 05-05 race. No mistaking who Sharon is supporting here. The Singapore yacht did best for T-shirts as the Singapore Tourist Board ensured they were strongly branded. Then many of the supporting sponsors also had their own T-shirts made for crew and supporters. The joy of this is that when one visits ports you see people wearing their various shirts etc from races years before. The only problem I have is that many of the shirts seem to shrink with age……..

Nurse Hopkins

The facts below were forwarded by Nurse Lucy Hopkins

In the 1400's a law was set forth that a man was not allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb".

Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"... and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 wow!!

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.

Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?
A. Father's Day

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down." It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

Try this ..... believe it or not, you can read it.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh?

~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~
At least 75% of people who read these facts will try to lick their elbow

New Hip Fitted

To keep you in the picture I am now back at home convalescing after having a replacement left hip operation in Yeovil hospital. I do not intend cover this any further as, although of great importance to me, I suspect it is of limited interest to everyone else. In practical terms I will not be travelling for 6 weeks so will be operating from my well equipped office at home.

The photo on the left shows the lovely bunch of flowers sent to me by the office. Also you will notice I was able to take up a life long ambition of playing the Triangle.

I went into hospital on Wednesday and had the operation that afternoon. I got out of bed on the Friday and put weight on the new hip. Saturday I was on sticks and Sunday I did stairs. I got home at mid-day on Monday so overall it was five nights. It is now Tuesday and my routine is ruled by my exercises which include regular walks of 200 metres or so.

The X-Rays are fascinating these days and have changed from the old film plates. The image now goes directly onto a scanner plate and so the surgeon brings up the image on a screen. You can then request to get a CD with your various images on to play at family film nights so that everyone can compare scars and operations.

Leaving hospital was a special occasion and so I wore my Errol Flynn Marina T-Shirt. This was personally signed by Patricia Flynn who was such a star when we visited port Antonio in Jamaica – more on her later!

Lastly a big ‘thank you’ to Graham Smibert, the surgeon, and all the team at Yeovil Hospital’s Kingston Wing. They were all tremendous and could not have done a better job!

Flying the Flag

Emma Stanton's Liverpool 08 dress was a real show stopper during the 05-06 Race and got masses of publicity around the world – here she is in the heart of Manhattan, NY. It was a good dress made out of one of the Culture Company's flags promoting the City's Capital of Culture and looked stunning on her, especially with her infectious smile. Because of a surfeit of ‘Emmas’ in Liverpool Clipper she was given the name Mini-M. This is a take off from the name of the Imarsat Mini-M Satellite phone that was previously fitted in the Clipper yachts.

The Stars and Stripes dress is being worn here by Sam Fuller who was Skipper of Liverpool 08 at the time. Sam took over from the regular Skipper Tim Magee when he had to return to UK for the race to New York. Sam had skippered New York Clipper in the 2000 race from Liverpool to Hong Kong and also skippered for several of the 05-06 training courses.

In a free vote, nine out of ten Skippers said they preferred Sam in the dress rather than the regular Skipper, Tim.

Guest writer - Timone of Baobab Farm

The pictures you see show the five of us, this weeks contributors to Colin’s Blog. All of us are extremely proud of being on this blog as we have heard about Colin and his exciting tales and inspirational ideas. We live in Sarah and Jaap's wild garden in Mombassa. We are (clockwise from right), Cowpat, Chicken, Timone (that's me!), Blondie (bottom) and Goat.

Timone
Arrival: Came with Sarah and Jaap from former abode, is Top Dog (that’s because I am the best at writing)
Likes: Snoozing in ridiculous positions with legs in air
Dislikes: New animals arriving in the house

Blondie
Arrival: From rescue centre, found on street with broken tail and attitude
Likes: To listen to something the humans say, consider it briefly, then completely disregard it. Drives them mad!
Dislikes: Being caught out the end of the garden when the tide comes in and having to swim home. Is still uncertain whether the fact that Cowshit thinks he is her milk bearing mother is a like or a dislike….

Chicken
Arrival: Gift from mason on Sarah’s building site, survived traumatic 8hr journey through storms and tempests to arrive at farm.
Likes: laying eggs in different places to make it really difficult for Sarah to find them.
Dislikes: Hazards abound for Chicken, either from the ground by dogs, from the air by sparrow hawks, or from below by mongoose. She dislikes all of these very much.

Cowshit
Arrival: Found on road near house, covered in cowshit, just before Christmas. Managed to woo the softy humans and avoided being taken to rescue centre. Easy!
Likes: Being fearless
Dislikes: Still having cowshit on tail after multiple washes and soaks, not good for the image!

Goat
Arrival: Surprise Christmas present to Sarah from brother Ric. “I got you a goat….”
Likes: Head butting any of the dogs which think they can wind up this lady, no chance!
Dislikes: bits of vegetable cuttings that the humans seem to think I’m going to eat and insist on shoving in my face.

And lastly for a real treat please look at Sarah’s website Green Water http://www.green-water.org It is all about recycling water using reed beds

Friday People - The Blagdons

Whatever anyone tells you, quite the best part of the Boat Show is meeting old friends. To me the highlight is meeting Alex and Patsy Blagdon from Plymouth. They are legends in the West Country having run their boat yard just next to the Mayflower Marina for many, many years. I got to know them well when the original Clipper yachts were delivered down to Plymouth before the first Clipper race in 1996. Inevitably there were last minute jobs to be done and bits to be screwed on; their yard played an important part before and after the race. The Clippers would dry out on the hard alongside Blagdon’s wall which would normally mean scrubbing and polishing in the early hours before the tide came back in.

Alex and Patsy still live in their character residence* behind the yard. They have the best view over the Tamar and nothing misses their eagle sharp eyes. Dropping in for tea and biscuits is one of life’s great experiences but such a visit can not be rushed without causing great offence.
* no estate agent could possibly improve on this description of what Patsy refers to as their two huts

It was therefore a great delight that one of the first guests at the Clipper Stand this year was Alex and Patsy Blagdon. This is what life in the marine business is all about.

STAND BY FOR THE CLIPPER INVASION!
And talking about old and new mates, Saturday will see the Boats Show crawling with new and old Clipper crews. As the years go by they too will continue to meet and marvel that they never get any older … just like Colin, Alec and Patsy.

Clipper 98 Baseball cap

The Clipper 96 baseball hat was a real collectors’ item. Its two fore and aft stripes made it one look a bit like a badger but the raised ‘Clipper’ name on the front was strong and distinctive. The hats also had good leather straps at the back. On the side you can see the original Clipper logo which was a stylised boat using the ‘C’ of Clipper as a spinnaker and the ‘L’ as the mast and boom. Because of this the Clipper boats in the logos have always gone from right to left. This is logical for those used to Arabic or Chinese but quite illogical for all of us in the western world. One day I predict it will change and we will sail from left to right.

The rather chirpy, friendly little boat, which might have been suitable for one’s bath, was retired after the 98 race. A new, and stylised logo was designed for the Times Clipper 2000.

For interest you will note from 2000 when subsequent Clipper logos were put on the bows of the yachts, the starboard one was reversed so the boats in the logos all go ahead.

Where the Cider apples come from .....

Today being Wednesday is the day I normally write about some pithy and relevant subject. Well today is slightly different as I am on an outing to Yeovil Hospital to have my new hip popped in. This may disrupt the flow of articles on the blog so I apologies if this is the case. The picture is dedicated to my surgeon, Graham .....

Apart from being the only town that built the bypass through the middle of the town, Yeovil is also well known for many things from helicopters to cider. The area is famous for its leather factories and associated industries such as gloving. Times change and most of the gloving factories have either closed or moved into specialist areas such as outside bras. New and successful industries include Somerset Brie, apple brandy and ‘Srewfix’ …..all industries that bring lots of relevant skills to the replacement hip trade.

Everyone of course knows about Yeovil and football. The old pitch was on a steep slope that completely outwitted visiting teams. This is now Tescos in the middle of town and it took many years for the Yeovil team to learn to play on their new flat pitch ……. but learn they have, so watch out – they punch above their weight!

Jokes from Jersey!

Peter Walsh was the Commodore of the St Helier Yacht Club where he gave tremendous support to the Clipper Race. After Peter met His Excellency, Tony Siddique in Singapore in 2002 I was subsiquently asked to present him with a burgee from the Riau Yacht Club* (RYC) next time I visited Jersey. Just as I was about to publish the photo some inky swot was impertinent enough to point out there was one unfortunate thing awry with the picture. This resulted in one of my early and desperate learning exercises in Paintshop Pro. All was resolved ….

* The Riau Islands are a group of about 3000 islands belonging to Indonesia, just south of Singapore. During SARS the Clipper Race visited Batam which was where the HQ of the RYC is based

Peter has been kind enough to forward the following two stories:

An old sea Captain was sitting on a bench near the wharf when a young man walked up and sat down. The young man had spiked hair and each spike was a different color.... green, red, orange, blue, and yellow.
After a while the young man noticed that the Captain was staring at him. "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life"
The old Captain replied, "Got drunk once and married a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son!"

From the dock the woman watched as the salty old tugboat captain skillfully docked his boat. She was impressed that such an old man would still be doing such a tough job. She decided to wait until the captain disembarked. As he did, she asked him, "Captain, what is your secret to leading such a long and productive life?"
"Well," he said. "I would have to say it's because I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day, drink a case of whisky every week, eat a lot of fatty foods and I never exercise."
"Wow, that's amazing," the woman said. "exactly how old are you?"
He answered, "Thirty-one"

Dressed to Promote!

Lucia Shenge was a crewmember in Durban Clipper in Clipper 05-05. She was sponsored by the City of Durban and had done no sailing prior to joining in Portsmouth for her training. Lucia background was that she was a street child in Durban and was taken in by the charity iCare. She is still very involved and busy with this project which is one of many organisations trying to overcome the massive problem of homeless children in Africa. Lucia was given the Durban Dress to wear when she returned to Durban Clipper in New York – what a scorcher!

Quick PS
Craig Millar, Skipper of Durban was married at the week end. We look forward to publishing the first pictures of him and his wife Taron.

A Liverpool Love Story

Sunday Extra Blog from Rod Simpson – Clipper crew 2000/1 and back again in 2006!

The picture shows Rod with some of his 300 adoring Cheer Leaders in Qingdao. Rod will be featured later but has sent me the following to remind everyone of the Scouse sense of humour; particularly relevant as they build up for their 800th birthday and their turn as European Capital of Culture.

Moving on, and without mentioning football, the name– `Liuerpul` (muddy pool) - first appears in the Doomsday survey in 1086 an inauspicious name for a small inlet of the River Mersey. The potential of Liverpool as a port (anchorage) was finally recognised and King John saw fit to grant us a Charter in 1207 – and since then the city has grown and grown.

Enough of that how about a good yarn -

A Liverpool Love Story

A young woman in Liverpool was so depressed that she decided to end her lifeby throwing herself into the Mersey. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the freezing water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying.

He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'm off to America in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his arm round her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy." The girl nodded "Yes", after all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in America wouldgive her life new meaning.

That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.

Two weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the Captain. "What are you doing here?" the Captain asked.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors", she explained. "I get food and a trip to America, and he's screwing me."

"He certainly is", the Captain said. "This is the Birkenhead Ferry."

Uniform Attendance - by Ian Dickens

Today’s guest is Ian Dicken’s who was a Round the World crew member in 2000. Ian then wrote an excellent book titled ‘Sea Change’ which was all about his experiences. This book is a very good insight to the Clipper Race and anyone going on the Clipper Race would benefit from reading it. The best way to get it is probably by contacting Ian at direct at: ian@drdb.org - You could be the first to commit e-commerce on Colin’s Place!

So, it’s boat show time again and Thumper and his keeper will be donning their blazers, beige chino slacks, crisp blue shirt with logo embroidered pocket, sailing club tie and battered deck shoes (I assume Thumper will wear four, although rabbits can never get their shoes on the correct foot – it’s down to ‘Mix a my toes’s’, apparently).

I wonder if every trade show has its own uniform that identifies the wearer to be firmly part of his or her industry. Does the International guttering convention see the great and good take the ride out to Excel with low slung grubby jeans revealing a spotty array of builders bums with a copy of the Sun poking out from the back pocket?

Or the European Arms Fair, where everyone comes dressed in camouflage. But how would you know – if it’s any good, you shouldn’t be able to see them.

I really must attend next years Festival of Erotica to see what is de-rigour at Olympia – I imagine that it might not extend beyond a couple of well placed tassels and a pink costume, which in my case, is in need of some urgent ironing.

This time six years ago, London Clipper was doing battle with the Pacific on the way to Hawaii. In the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night, the phone went. It was Colin calling from the Clipper stand, when the boat show was at Earls Court. It was where I first met the Clipper team in 2000. This year, my wife will be there as she plans her part in the 2007 race. We don’t like to conform to type though, so while I’ll be wearing a camouflage top and grubby jeans, she’ll be the one swirling the tassels.

You can’t miss us.

People Page – Sarah Thoroughly-Good (Née Beaujolais)

Sarah features in Colin’s Place as she was my assistant for Clipper 2002 and therefore has put up with much more of my grumpiness than was fair. I think her parents have finally forgiven her for signing up for one leg in Clipper 2000 and then staying for all of them. With his banking background her father will be able to balance this against her subsequent employment in Clipper with an additional windfall of a son-in-law called Ed.

Sarah’s wedding in her home in Jersey was a magnificent affair* and one of the great Clipper gatherings of all time. (Allegedly the 23rd Clipper Wedding) The pictures show her beautifully scrubbed up for the occasion and looking like a million dollars – just right for her move into Ed Thoroghgood House.
* Add Wedding costs under Debits

Sarah went on to run the Clipper Education programme where she loved to be known as the Headmistress. She left Clipper in the summer of 2006 and now rents castles in Jersey ……. whilst retaining her reputation as the fountain of knowledge on all Clipper social happenings.

Shirt Day - 05-06 Polo

I have to agree with the New York Fashion Police on this one. Some shirts one bonds with, others you don’t. I never liked these synthetic Race polo shirts and I always prefer the cotton feel. Also they did not have a breast pocket which is obviously useful for keeping breasts in although in my case I use them for my telephone.*
Please do not worry that this section will only be me wearing T-shirts. This is a stop gap as my model has got ‘flu and so you will have to wait until later to meet her – worth the wait, I assure you.
* …. and how may mobiles have fallen into the dock as one bends down to tie a boat up?

Best New Year Present – Ever!

Although not currently involved in the VELUX 5 Oceans, I did have the privilege of standing in as Race Director for a short period prior to the start in Bilbao. I found the experience fascinating, especially not having come from this world. The boats are truly amazing machines and combine power, glamour and cutting edge technology. However in a race such as the VELUX 5 Oceans, it is the Skippers that make the race. They are all delightfully different but are drawn together to achieve their goal and beat whatever the oceans throw at them. It is the greatest gladiatorial challenge than you will find outside the lions’ den.

So the best New Year present in my book is having all the 8 skippers I met in Spain safe and sound. The race had its first major excitement with the fierce storm immediately on departure. The loss of Hugo Boss in the Southern Ocean and Alex Thomson’s remarkable rescue by Mike Golding put everything into perspective. The fact that Mike slowed down when he appreciated that Alex’s speed had dropped on a routine schedule, before the emergency call, illustrates a sixth sense and the perception of a great seaman. The subsequent loss of his mast and retirement was a disappointment shared by all but his saving of a life puts a true perspective on the situation. His OBE in the New Year Honours’ List for services to sailing is a most timely and appropriate award.

Sir Robin has made it safely to Fremantle and his boat was reported to be orderly, clean and tidy on arrival – a true compliment and an example to some scum pits that finish the Fastnet after a mere 5 days.
‘It’s ports that wreck ships and men!’ Luckily Sir Robin has not got long to wait until the start from Fremantle on 14th Jan – make sure you follow it and the rest of the race at http://www.velux5oceans.com/

And for Clipper followers, fear not. The VELUX 5 Oceans is a great race but it is severely limited in the area of Crew Parties – Here the Clipper Race get this prize every time!

Fremantle – Western Australia

Peter Tagliaferri, the Mayor of Fremantle, Western Australia, presented me and the Skippers with these city burgees at a reception during the visit of Clipper 05-06 in December 2005. The flag features the distinctive signal tower in the fort which dominates the harbour. The mast still has a ball raised and lowered at mid-day. In the old days a noon day cannon would have been fired to draw attention to the ball. The time in Fremantle, and many harbours, was taken by the ball dropping to overcome the error caused by the delay in hearing the sound signal.

Fremantle is a delightful small city next to Perth which is further up the Swan River. Its main importance is as a major commercial port. The fixed bridges on the river limit the passage of vessels above the city so yachts clubs and the type of sailing is divided into river sailing and inshore/ocean sailing at Fremantle. Both the Clipper Race and the VELUX 5 Ocean have been hosted by the magnificent Fremantle Sailing Club which I will feature later.

The undisputed star for the Clipper Race visit in December 2005 was Ron the Tram Driver who was on call to take crew around the town in his historic Tram No. 2. Ron won everyone’s respect for his endless stories and ended up by taking the Prime Minister of Malaysia down to the Clipper yachts. The photo shows the tram taking part in a parade laid on for the Clipper crews.

The VELUX 5 Oceans race is currently visiting Fremantle – see tomorrow’s entry …..

Book - Liverpool Sea Britain 2005

What better way to start the New Year and this section than with this book that I was given in Liverpool? It was commissioned by the Culture Company in Liverpool and published to celebrate Sea Britain 2005. A great foreword by Sir Robin Knox-Johnston and the book makes you appreciate just what a rich maritime history Liverpool has.
We have all come a long way since one brave, but foolish, journalist asked Sir Robin ‘Why Liverpool?’ at the Press Conference stating that the 2002 Clipper Race would start there. This decision was a most significant step as up to then the starts and finishes of all the major yacht races had been polarised in the south of England.
ISBN 0-904517-21-1 Published by Marketing Services, Liverpool City Council. Price £9.99