93.25 ... not an FM Radio Station

Sadly not everyone has the opportunity to know my favourite Aunt, Lexie Elliott, but there are a great deal of people who do. I publish this collage as an illustration of how we should all be at 93.25 ….. not a Radio station but Lexie’s age.

She lives in the lovely town on Knysna in South Africa where she drives (a senior VW Golf), rides her bicycle (Sir Jasper), swims (in the Hippo Pool), plays her squeeze box at concerts and generally looks after the old people.

The top right picture shows Lexie making adjustments on her flying pig, ‘Piggles’ before he sets off on another death defying mission against ‘Miss Daisy-Moo’ the flying cow from Jersey.

Tin Cans Cars

The picture shows a model car made out of a beer can in Madagascar.

By Guest Writer Ryan Walker (Alias Quiche)

When ever I've been in Africa, Latin America or SE Asia I've been amazed at the skill and resourcefulness of the general population in their ability to reuse everything and make the most useless items that we would throw away into valuable useful objects, such as old car tires made into sandals in Madagascar and the Philippines and buckets in Indonesia.

On a few occasions wandering round towns in developing counties and seeing this transformation of rubbish into some other completely useful form, I started thinking that this would be worth documenting, possibly in the form of a small picture book. For it to ever work I need to collect good quality pictures and stories of the sorts of objects mentioned. Knowing a good amount of people who work in conservation and development and either live or spend lots of time in less developed areas of the world I thought I may have a reasonable chance of collecting the material needed.

So if you come across anything you think maybe useful, get a few good pictures, let me know a story behind it and if I get enough material I will put something together and see if I can find a publisher interested it.

Thanks a lot and hope everyone is ok where ever you are.
Cheers, Quiche
Ryanwalker2@hotmail.com

By Thumper:

Please also forward them to me ad I will punblish them!

thumper.demowbray@virgin.net

Corrupting the Cookie

Whilst visiting The Great Wall Chinese Restaurant in downtown Gosport in some excellent company last week we concluded with the (now) traditional Fortune Cookies. No surprise here, but what is their origin? Thanks to Wikipedia I can tell you.

The Fortune Cookie is a thin, crisp cookie baked around a piece of paper with words of faux wisdom or vague prophecy, usually served with Chinese food as a dessert. The message inside may also include a list of lucky numbers (used by some as lottery numbers) and a Chinese phrase with translation. Despite the conventional wisdom, they were actually invented in California, not China.

The paper slips are always good for a laugh but James Allen, Clipper’s new Training Supremo added a new dimension. After each proverb you add the two words as below:

• Whatever your mind can conceive and believe, you can achieve …. In bed


• Thinking is easy, acting is difficult, and to put one’s thoughts into action is the most difficult thing in the world …. In bed!


• Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length …. In bed!


• Learning is lifelong ….. in bed!


• A rich man is not one who has the most, but the one who needs the least ….in bed!


• Your talents will be recognised and suddenly rewarded …. In bed!


• Happiness is a butterfly that may alight upon you ….. in bed!

Thank you James, and is it true you have introduced a new Part D training Course …. In bed?

Anna's Ultimate Booze Cruise

I have just had word with Anna Wardley and her plan to swim the Channel. When I asked her why she is swimming to France and not back she gave me the simplest expalation. 'Colin, I can bring more wine back on the ferry than I can while I am swimming'.

PLEASE SUPPORT HER IF YOU CAN

By Anna Wardley

Between 6-10 August 2007 I plan to swim solo across the English Channel. I know it is going to be exceptionally tough, but I am determined to give it my very best shot. I have been training since October 2006 and am building up my distance in preparation for my attempt at the ultimate marathon open water swim.

The English Channel is approximately 19 nautical miles (38000 yards) or 35 kilometres (35000 mtrs) - wide at its narrowest point (Shakespeare Beach, Dover to Cap Gris Nez, France). Every day there are approximately 600 traffic movements in the Dover Straits, and next August I plan to make it 601!

I will be raising money for the Samaritans (

www.samaritans.org.uk), who offer around the clock confidential support for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair, and the Philip Green Memorial Trust (www.pgmt.org), a UK based charity that helps less fortunate children both in the UK and overseas. As JustGiving is only able to administer single-charity campaigns, I have an arrangement with PGMT that they will pass on half of al monies raised to the Samaritans, who have also cleared this agreement.

I'll do the getting cold, wet and tired bit and take on the Cross Channel ferries and jellyfish - I hope you will do the generous bit and donate to these two special causes. With your help, I aim to make the pain worthwhile and raise a significant amount for both worthy causes.

Donating is very simple. Click onto www.justgiving.com/swimtofrance The site is simple, fast and totally secure. It is also the most efficient way to sponsor me: Samaritans will receive your money faster and, if you are a UK taxpayer, an extra 28% in tax will be added to your gift at no cost to you.

So please sponsor me now! Many thanks for your support.

Anna

Tim Hedges leaving spoof

After it was publicly announced that Clipper Race Director Tim Hedges would be leaving after 9 years with Clipper all his work mates had the customary whip round. As Tim was so well known and respected, and in recognition to his long service, everyone dug deep into their pockets and found the odd coppers, foreign coins and a few old buttons that were really being reserved for the next church offering. The result was a spectacular success and there was a surplus of funds, even after buying his discount farewell card.

As I had known Tim for longest I was asked to say a few words. I mentioned his time Skippering Chrysolite in the 1998 race and his subsequent time assisting me with the 2000 and 2002 race so ably, and how I had greatly appreciated his never ending support, wise council and company.

We need to go back to 1996 when a certain Becca Aird ended up as one of four finalists in a Mail on Sunday competition for a place on Clipper. Her training skipper was none other than a certain Tim Hedges. After a total of 70,000 miles of ocean racing between them, several of us found ourselves at a church in Wiltshire to witness what can happen to nice girls who enter strange newspaper competitions.

After his farewell drinks for the office at The Clarence Tim announced that the news of his departure had been greatly exaggerated and he was not really leaving after all! In fact the whole evening was nothing else than a rehearsal for when he does finally leave at the end of May when Joff bailey (ex- New York Clipper) takes over.

I will keep my final farewell until after the next collection and he really does leave!

Liverpool Transport Vision

There have been worries expressed due to the expected high demands on the Liverpool transport framework during the 2008 – the year the city celebrates their turn as European City of Culture. With the shelving of the much needed metro tram system a well known Merseyside civil engineer has been looking for alternatives further a field.

‘I think I have found a practical answer’ said Mr Alastair Soane-Smugly (ASS).

'I have invested my own resources to follow up my new scheme of Jumbo Elephant Transport –or JET-ASS for short. My wife and I have carried out initial trials of the scheme and the picture shows us on the number 6 JET which is the express from Meols to Hoylake, a distance of over 1.5 miles.'

‘The joy of JET’ stated Mr S-S, ‘is that it is not affected by traffic as any cars are merely brushed aside or simple trodden on. Also, as road works now represent the permanent state of all the roads in the city centre, we see these will not be a problem as they represent the normal terrain for the prime movers of this revolutionary system.’

When asked if the JETs would be required to be routed round the streets when they were empty like the Liverpool buses Mr S-S answered ‘Absolutely not! They come with very experienced Mahouts who will be able to direct them in assisting with the many building projects underway in the city. In addition the Parks Department are also keen to be involved in an attempt to improve the quality of their roses.’

Mr S-S did not see that the capacity of JET-ASS would be a problem. 'We are looking at adding capacity to existing systems so this must be a bonus.' He confirmed they would be intergrated into the Park and Ride system to to get traffic off the Trunk routes.

The trial continues.

Happy Easter from Thumper!

On behalf of all the loyal followers, HAPPY EASTER.
Try this link for to celebrate with me
http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=1186822421376
...and have a thumping good holiday!
TdeM

Marina (nearly) at Keppel Bay

One of the interesting sites I enjoy in Singapore is seeing the building progressing at Keppel Bay where new marina is taking shape. When the Clipper visited last January they were based in a temporary purpose built marina in front of the Caribbean development (on the right of the picture). This prestigious residential development is built around the old dry docks of the famous Keppel shipyard. The largest dock, capable of talking a battleship, is in the foreground. http://www.caribbean.com.sg/homebythesea.asp
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keppel_Harbour

The fantastic new marina will be on Keppel Island and accessed by the new bridge. It will be ready at the end of 2007 and officially opened during the visit of the Clipper Fleet in January 2008.

The latest project, just announced, is another vast residential complex with striking architecture to be know as Reflections.
http://www.kepcorp.com/press/press.asp?RID=1415&L=&Y=2007&Q=1

Dr Juma joins the NHS

An exciting new dimension on providing a whole range of medical services by one specialist has recently been introduced by the NHS. Due to the probability of being overcome by the demand, Dr Juma’s surgery address remains a secret at present.

In Case you can not read his services they are:

• Bewitched people
• Swollen body
• Lost Lover
• Insanity
• Diarrhoea
• Madness
• To make men’s pennis strong
• Women with pregnancy problems (By TdeM: Probably as a result of above)
• Vomiting at all times
• Misfortunes
• Demand debts
• Remove misunderstanding with anybody
• Court cases
• Casino specialist
• Bad luck
• Customer attraction etc